


Kataomoi

by Sari_hikaru



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime), victuuri - Fandom
Genre: Anxiety, Depression, Gender Dysphoria, Graphic Depictions of Illness, Heavy Angst, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mpreg, Trans Victor Nikiforov
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-19
Updated: 2018-04-19
Packaged: 2019-04-24 22:26:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14364978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sari_hikaru/pseuds/Sari_hikaru
Summary: Victor Nikiforov is one of the few trans athletes there had ever been and he was proud of it; but he has always worked hard to not give people a chance to judge him and how he decided to behave. He's a man and he decides what is manly and what isn't.He meets Yuuri at a banquet and they kick it right off; it started out with a kiss how did it end up like this? He falls hard for the boy, but the next day, he ignores him as if nothing had happened between them, which leads him to believe he was insignificant to him.A month after the banquet he realizes something terrifying; something he thought couldn't happen to him and he's in big trouble, and so, his life becomes a chain of events that always revolve around one person: Yuuri Katsuki.





	Kataomoi

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so this is my first fanfic on this fandom. I will write two fanfics with the "same theme" (mpreg with trans victor) and I'll tell you why: I'm genderqueer and writing a character as confident and proud as Victor Nikiforov as trans makes me feel much better about myself. This fanfic is angsty and heavy emotionally speaking. I will have little to no fluff and I'm still not sure if it will contain smut.  
> The events of this fic happen within the events of the anime; some time periods and events had to be changed to match the fic, but I will try to stay as true to the time periods in the show as possible.  
> The chapters are subjected to editing, so please, if you have any constructive criticism, I would truly appreciate it.  
> Anyways, thanks for giving this fic a chance, I hope you enjoy it.  
> Also; my first language is Spanish, not English, so if the syntaxis or grammar seem wrong, do tell me and I will correct it.

“Your damn mind is somewhere else, Ice King. You better bring it back!!” yelled Yakov at Victor. The young man had been very much the dreamer since they came back from the Grand Prix, but this was different- he wasn’t day dreaming, he was thinking very hard.  
“Hey, Victor! You damn nagging dog, you’re not paying any attention!! You’re supposed to represent a real opponent against me!” yelled now Yurio; since he now was having his debut as a senior, he had gotten more and more moody and bossy.  
“Eh?” Victor finally reacted, only because the blond boy hit him on the shoulder, and rather hard, at that. ”I’m sorry. I’ve just… I’m a little…” he couldn’t even form a complete sentence. He looked nervous, and that was a very unusual look on him. “I can’t continue practice today, Yakov. I’m sorry.” He said and promptly skated out of the rink and went into the dressing rooms.  
Everyone was left astonished and confused.  
“That’s definitely very unlike Victor Nikiforov. I mean everything; looking nervous, not knowing what to say, apologizing, and running away from practice. What’s wrong with him?” stated Mila, leaning on Yurio’s shoulder.  
“How should I know? That boy never seems to have a problem in life. Yuri, why don’t you go see what’s up with him?”  
“Whaaat?! Why me? I have to practice. This is my debut and I am going to win.” He said, about to go on skating again.   
“Oh but it would be no fun if you win against a troubled Victor, now, would it?” said Mila, with a grin  
Yurio thought, an expression of frustration forming on his face. “Ugh. Fine! I’ll go be his goddamn nanny. I can’t believe this.” He said as he kicked the ice with the front of his blade and with that, he skated out of the rink, put the protectors on his blades and went into the dressing rooms.  
“Victor!! Where are you? You’re costing me practice time, you attention seeking bastard!” he looked for Victor between the lines of lockers, walking towards the back of the room. “Victor! This isn’t fucking hide and seek!” he said as he finally saw him, sitting on the first bench, still with is skates on, looking at something in his hands intently; his eyes wide open and unblinking; his expression unreadable.  
“Victor!!” screamed the boy, observing that the man hadn’t noticed his presence despite being right in front of him.  
“Huh? Oh, Yuri. I didn’t hear you come in. Is practice already over? What…what are you doing here?” He asked, all at once, half hiding whatever was in his hands.  
“It’s not over yet. Yakov asked me to come see what’s up with you. Why the hell did you leave like that? And what’s with the stuttering? You’ve always been an insufferable smartass.” Huffed Yurio  
Victor sighed. “Not as much of a smartass as yourself, Yuri.” He laughed slightly to himself.  
“Quit bothering me and what are you laughing about?”  
“Your name…it reminds me of…”  
“Oh I know what you’re going to say, Nikiforov. You’re going to talk about that pathetic Japanese loser that lost it with the champagne at the banquet. Shut up about him already!” he asserted and then took a step back to lean over the lockers behind him and then crossed his arms.  
“Mhm didn’t seem like you thought he was a loser when he defeated you in that dance off.” Victor teased apathetically and chuckled at his memory of that night, but then stopped with a sigh full of nostalgia.  
“Oh come on, I can’t back down a dare. Anyways, didn’t that loser ignored you completely the day after that? He didn’t even seem to care who you were. I bet that killed your ego, Nikiforov. Rejected by a sixth place… if I was in your place, I’d…”  
“Yuri.” interrupted Victor, now saddened and pensive “Please look at this.” Yurio extended his hand to grab what Victor handed him and looked down at it; he thought it was a thermometer at first, but in the rectangle in the middle there were a couple of pink lines instead of numbers. He finally caught up with what was handed to him.  
“Whatever the fuck, Nikiforov? What the hell is this? Tell me you didn’t fuck up THIS bad.” Yurio might have seemed rude, but he was becoming increasingly concerned for his fellow sportsman as he reasoned the situation. ”Well, ANSWER ME!!” he couldn’t deal with how down on his spirits Victor was looking.  
“I did fuck up THAT bad, Yuri. I don’t know what I’m going to do.”  
“What the hell and it’s his?? Hell, it at least could’ve been Chris’…” he heard what he was saying and knew he wasn’t helping at all, so he stopped. “So…what’s the plan? You’re getting rid of it?”   
Victor knew Yuri well enough to know he wasn’t trying to be insolent; he knew he was concerned about him, but his way of showing it was just…blunt.  
“I…was thinking about it yesterday that I found out for sure, but…” Victor seemed like he was unable to acknowledge he was speaking to another person; he was looking far ahead of where Yurio was; into the future, probably. “I can’t; I just can’t. I didn’t even think it was possible; I mean, I’m on T; I never miss a dose, and, yes, sometimes, I get my period, but…” he stopped and finally looked at the fifteen year old in the eyes; he looked worried and at a loss and even vulnerable, which was something you’d never expect to see in Yurio; he reconsidered discussing these matters with him. “I’m sorry, Yuri, I shouldn’t be troubling you with this, you’re just a kid.”  
“Just a kid my ass. You’re not apologizing now, Nikiforov. Come on already, tell me what you’re going to do. You’re telling Yakov? I mean, he’s not an idiot; he’s going to notice.” He pointed out and Victor was pleased to hear Yuri supported him…in his own way.  
The older man looked at the boy, deciding whether he should continue talking to him about such a topic or to just let him go. He finally decided he would trust the boy. “I can’t tell him; I don’t want anyone to know this is happening. My whole career, Yuri, I have been careful to not do something that would give people the chance to judge me for being trans, and now…” he let his head fall into his hands in frustration. ”God, I’m such an idiot.”  
“We finally agree on something.” He replied with a smirk and then his expression changed to an almost consoling smile. “So you’re not telling Katsuki?” he asked in a less snobbish voice  
“I don’t think that ´Hey, remember you completely ignored me after we slept together the night of the banquet? Well, I didn’t want to bother you, but I’m pregnant with your kid.´ sounds very well. Maybe when they’re born, I don’t know…I mean, eventually I’m going to have to tell everyone, because it’s not like I’m going to appear with a kid out of nowhere and give no explanation.”  
“mhm.” Murmured the boy and looked at the floor, thoughtful. He looked up again at Victor, who was looking at him as if awaiting an answer. “I won’t tell anyone, if that worries you.” He said as he handed the pregnancy test to Victor and stared at him directly in the eyes. Victor knew in that moment that he had Yuri’s full support, even if he didn’t express it in words. Victor felt a bit reassured.  
“I’m leaving to Switzerland; I’m going to live with Chris, I think, at least until they’re born. He was the only one who knew before you. I can’t believe I have to leave…” he continued, answering what Yurio had asked him sooner. He felt his heart sinking and his hands began shaking.  
“You can say you’re taking a break because you’re afraid of losing to a fifteen year old.” taunted the teenager, again in a smug tone. “You did go to a doctor, right?”  
“Yes, I couldn’t really trust just a pregnancy test.” He stared at the test again, as if his brain was still trying to digest the fact that it was actually real. “It doesn’t feel real” he admitted.  
“You’ll be fine.” Commented Yurio, which were probably the kindest words Victor had heard from him; he was content he had trusted him.  
“Thank you, Yuri. Thanks for listening, you really didn’t have to.” Victor said, looking Yurio in the eyes; a permanent cold look on them, but with a hint of empathy discernible in them  
“Yeah, yeah, don’t mention it. You are leaving the path clear for my gold, though.” He said, trying to lighten up the ambience   
“I trust that one day you’ll win even against me.” Victor admitted with a smile   
“Against a dad? Of course.” alluded the boy, smirking to show he was joking, at least partly. ”When are you leaving?”  
Victor ignored the joke because the word “dad” stunned him, but he answered “Next week. I’m already doing the arrangements.”  
Yuri nodded in understanding and then looked at the clock on the wall; it marked that more than ten minutes had passed.  
“I’m leaving, old man, or they’ll believe I’m gone too and I DO have a tournament to win.” He stated while he started stretching again. “I’ll tell them you felt sick, you can talk to Yakov later.”  
“Okay, do that. Thanks.”  
Yuri finished a stretch and began to the front of the dressing rooms, but stopped in his tracks and looked back at Victor.  
“Will you still make a program for me? When your kid’s born and you come back, I mean.”  
Victor smiled lightly and nodded “Of course.”  
Yurio smiled widely and raised his fist in victory “You better not forget about it, Nikiforov!” he exclaimed and then fled the dressing rooms  
Victor was left to his own thoughts and feelings again, feeling a little bit lighter now that he had told Yurio and it had gone well. Still, he felt like the whole world was just about to fall on him now that he was alone again; as if moving from that spot on the bench would make everything come tumbling down. He didn’t feel prepared at all for what was to come. He felt his whole body beginning to shake and felt sweat forming on his forehead. He tried breathing in and out slowly, but it felt impossible. His eyes were shut tight and his chest felt heavy. He feared opening his eyes again; they were acting as curtains between him and a massive disaster. He was clutching at the pregnancy test still in his hand and, realizing this; he opened his eyes and looked around him. There were small specks of light because of the now released pressure of his eyelids on his eyes, but everything was still the same; nothing had fallen on him; everything was silent and in order; as it always had been.  
He let out a sigh of trifling relief and then looked at the test on his hand and then down at his abdomen. He noticed his other hand was clasping the bench beneath him and he finally let go to place his trembling and sweaty hand on his lower abdomen. His breathing was shaky and shallow, but he slowly began breathing normally and more fully. “I guess it’s you and me against the world, right?” He said to the baby forming inside of him. “I don’t know if your other father would be happy…” he started but, stopped and pictured Yuuri rejecting him and their kid, and he swallowed a knot forming in his throat; a silent weep escaping his mouth. He shook his head to get the thought out of his mind.   
He looked down at where he was resting his hand again and started again “but, hey, don’t worry, I promise I’ll be here for you...” right after saying this, he realized that what he was saying wasn’t only for the baby; it was also for him to know he wasn’t going to be alone anymore. “I-I love you.” He thought and immediately the urge to cry returned, because it was true; he did love his baby even though he hadn’t planned it; even though it was definitely not ideal nor convenient; he did love them and he adored the idea that they were a part of the man he had fallen so hard for; still, he did not cry. He was so dazed by the realization that, instead, he smiled daintily and finally decided it was time to go home.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello I just edited this first chapter, because Yurio didn't feel like himself in the past verison.  
> Also concerning Yurio; I'm sorry that I change so much between "Yuri" and "Yurio" but at this point in time, nobody called him "Yurio" so, just know that the only way I'll be referring to Yuuri Katsuki is by "Yuuri", so any other way it is written, I'm talking about Plisetsky. Thank you for reading!!


End file.
